Tommy's Happy Ever, Or Is It?
by Anne399
Summary: When Jude's parents divorce, Jude moves to England with her mom, only to come back a few years later for Sadie's wedding. Tommy realizes that he still has feelings for Jude, but does she return them?
1. Sadie's Big Surprise

A/N: I don't own Instant Star or the song 'Who Knew' by Pink. This is just something off the top of my head, so be patient if it takes me awhile to post the next chapter.

Kwest and I were waiting at the studio for Sadie to show us her big surprise. I got up and refilled my coffee mug, "So, do you know anything about this?" Kwest shook his head, "Nope, she's been real tight on this one, but I think it has something to do with the wedding." I doctored my coffee and sat back down on the couch, "Yeah, she's been dealing with a million things getting ready for this, I just hope she doesn't crack under the pressure of becoming Mrs. Kevin West." I dodged the pillow he threw at me and caught my breath at the sight of a dream walking in the door. "Kwest." I choked out. He turned and stood up, walking towards the ladies, "Jude! Sadie, I love your surprise!"

I pulled myself together and walked over to them, giving them both big hugs. "Sadie, Jude!" I turned to Jude, she looked amazing! The past two and half years revealed a beautiful woman that was hidden by youth earlier. I took in her stylish clothes; she was definitely giving Sadie a run for her money in that department. I felt my heart clench as I looked into her eyes. "So, are you here for the wedding or is this permanent?" She smiled at Sadie, "I think it's permanent. I've missed my family and friends." I nodded and turned away. It took a few steps for me to gain my composure, I don't think I'm in the friends category; I've had to go through Kwest to get all my information on Jude these last two years. I dumped my coffee out in the sink and washed the mug out, listening to their conversation about Sadie's bridesmaid dresses.

I turned around and caught Jude's eyes on me. I walked over and nodded at her, "You want to get some coffee somewhere and catch up?" She smiled, "Yeah, I'd like that." I looked at Kwest, he was already pulling Sadie off to the side, probably making plans for later this evening. "We're heading over to the café, we'll see you later." Kwest nodded at me before turning back to Sadie. I led Jude out the front door to my Viper. "Oh! You still have this car! Do you remember when I had my first driving lesson in this car?" I nodded, unable to speak. Of course I remembered, I also remembered later that day how I held her in my arms and kissed her. And no, it didn't stop there, I remember the pain I caused her, the rift it created between us and then her move to London with her Mom.

I opened the car door for her and waited for her to slide in. I watched her slim ankles disappear and closed the door before getting in on my side. "So, Harrison, you think this is permanent?" She looked out at the passing scenery. "Yeah, I've missed home. Don't get me wrong, London was great, I've done some amazing things, spread my wings and all, but I'm a family girl. I miss my family and all my friends."

I nodded, pulling into a parking space at Piazza Venezia. This was one of my favorite spots, they made amazing coffee. I held her door for her, again taking in the differences in her. She carried herself with grace and dignity. Gone was any of the self-consciousness that used to plague her earlier. We picked out a table in the shade and ordered our coffee. "I really love the new sound you've brought to your latest album, it's amazing." She took a sip of her coffee and smiled, "Yeah, I had a great team backing me up, but speaking of albums, I listened to yours, it's fantastic! Little Tommy Q finally went solo." I shook my head, I'd let her get away with that once, but the next time she called me that, it was going to be war.

"Yeah, I had Kwest to thank for that, he pushed me into going public with it." She nodded, her smile brightening, "Kwest and Sadie finally tying the knot. I can't believe it; I thought they'd just circle around the issue forever." I laughed, "Yeah, you should have seen them, one would get serious and the other would start to panic a little until they backed off, and then the tables would turn." It has definitely been a crazy two and a half years. I understood Sadie's side though, she was scared of Kwest falling out of love with her and hurting her like her father did. Jude laughed at the picture I had created in her mind. "Yeah, but she's committed and I'm glad it's with Kwest, I know he'll treat her right." I had a horrible thought in my head and forced the words to come out. "So, are you in a committed relationship, or are you speaking from personal experience?"

Jude lowered her coffee cup, "No, I'm not in a relationship, but yeah, there were a few times I've had my heart handed to me, but it's toughened me up Quincy." I shook my head, wondering who besides Shay and I have hurt her. That's one of the topics Sadie wouldn't talk to Kwest about, Jude's romantic life. I knew from experience that you couldn't believe everything you read in the tabloids either, or else I would have been married three times already. "So, are you going to be signing with G Major for your next album, or are you taking a break?" Georgia would love to have her back on board. The company has been doing great this last year, we've released a bunch of great albums and money has been pouring in.

Jude fiddled with her cup, turning it around and around again before finally setting it down. "I'm not sure, I want to jump right into the studio, but I also think I need some time off, time to get settled in." I nodded, "Yeah, Toronto is a major change after London. Whenever you're ready to get back in the studio, we have an amazing new producer, Jason, he's been with us this past year." She looked up at me, her eyes wounded. "You mean you wouldn't want to produce me?" I reached over and grasped her hand. "No! It's just that I thought you might be more comfortable with someone else, you know, because of our past. It's not like you've kept in touch or anything." She nodded, biting her lower lip. "I know it's my fault we didn't keep in touch, I was just so emotional over everything with Shay, you and my Dad happening at the same time that I just needed some space. It was too late before I realized how much time had flown by. I don't hate you Quincy, its water under the bridge. I just know that we make amazing music together."

I let go of her hand and stood up, "C'mon, let's get back to the studio before Sadie has a chance to elope with Kwest. I think the pressure of the wedding is starting to get to her and she needs you, even if she doesn't say it." Jude smiled up at me, my breath caught in my throat. The sun playing on her hair turned it golden, forming a halo around her face. I thought I was over her; I certainly tried to put her behind me over the years. I guess it didn't work. Once again I held the door open for her. We were both quiet on the drive back to the studio, lost in our own thoughts. She wants me to produce her, water under the bridge? Has she moved on so easily? I thought back to just under three years ago, right before her first tour. We were at the album release party and she had told me she loved me, it had made my heart soar, but I couldn't do anything, she was only sixteen at the time.

I pulled up to the studio, still lost in my thoughts, she'll be nineteen in a month, a voice whispered in my mind. I shook my head and realized she was looking at me funny. "What Harrison? Cat got your tongue?" She smiled, a little sad, "No, just taking in how much you've changed, Tommy." She reached up and traced a few of the lines that appeared while she had been gone, "I'm sorry if you've had a rough few years, I had hoped you were doing okay." I looked at her, seeing she genuinely cared, I opened my mouth to tell her that I was okay but Sadie and Kwest chose that moment to walk over to us. Kwest leaned against my car door, "Sadie has demanded your presence at dinner tonight, you can't refuse or else she'll make my life hell." I looked from him to Sadie; she had her stern expression on. The last time I disobeyed that expression, I was on the receiving end of a flying shoe. Let me tell you, you never want to upset her when she'd armed and dangerous. It didn't help that it was over Kwest either. Anyways, that's a story for another day.

Jude took my decision out of my hands, not that I was going to turn the invite down. "Of course you have to come! It'll be great, we still have so much to catch up on and I can show you some of my new stuff I've been working on!' I smiled, "Okay, I guess I'm coming to dinner." I got out and opened the door for Jude. "So, are you ladies taking off to spend some time together?" Sadie grabbed Jude's hand, "I'm taking her shopping with me, I have to have her opinion on some new clothes I've been looking at." I looked at Kwest and he shrugged, he found out the hard way that shopping with Sadie was an all day experience. "Okay, I guess we'll see you both later once Georgia's through loading us down with work."

I followed Kwest into Studio one, we still had to finish mixing the latest track for Third Eye's album. They have come a long way these last few months. Georgia was starting to breathe down our necks; the deadline for the album was creeping up, meaning a lot of late nights were just around the corner. I took my place at the sound board and started playback on the track. Kwest sat down next to me and looked at me, "So, are we going to talk about this, or pretend that nothing happened?" I looked over at him, trying to decide. I finally nodded and opened up to him, "Yeah, it hit me like a ton of bricks, man. I'm not over her, even though I wish I were." Kwest had been with me, supporting me emotionally when Jude first left. After the first six months, I had gotten myself together, pretending I didn't care that she never wrote or called. It wasn't until her seventeenth birthday that I finally thought I'd put it all behind me. I tried dating, but it just never seemed to work out. I've been single since the last of the three botched attempts ended.

Kwest shook his head, "Man, whatever happens take it slow. I saw something between you two when you were talking. Just, protect your heart Tom. I don't know how much more damaged it can take." I looked up, I had hope if Kwest thought he saw something, but yeah, I'm definitely taking it slow, I already have had too much pain in my life to be leaping before I looked. I nodded at him and went back to work, Georgia told us we weren't leaving until this track was complete.

ISISISISISISISISISISISIS

I pulled up behind Kwest and shut off the engine. Sadie had the windows open and I could hear Jude playing a guitar. I grabbed Kwest's arm to stop him from going up to the front door, somehow I knew she hadn't meant for me to hear this song.

__

Remember when we were such fools  
And so convinced and just too cool  
Oh no

_no no  
I wish I could touch you again  
I wish I could still call you friend  
I'd give anything_

Kwest dragged me back to the car and turned on me, "Snap out of it! I told you, take it slow. Yeah, she's pouring her heart out in there, but that doesn't mean everything is fine, okay?" I nodded, knowing he was right. So what that Jude wrote a song that touched my heart, a song that I had a sneaky suspicion that was about us. I took a deep breath and followed Kwest into the house. I gave Sadie a hug before I looked over at Jude, she was putting Kwests' guitar away. "Hey, you guys are earlier than we expected." Kwest kissed Sadie, "That's because I had such a beautiful woman waiting for me at home." I grinned at them, "While you two are making kissy face, I'm going to grab some drinks. Anyone want anything in particular?" Kwest and Sadie just ignored me, I looked over at Jude. She looked across the room towards Sadie and then came rushing over to me, "I'll help you."

I walked to the kitchen and took out some glasses before filling them with ice. I was aware of Jude leaning against the counter, just watching me. I selected Sadie's favorite juice blend and grabbed water for myself. I felt a little uncomfortable with the silence, but continued getting dishes together for dinner. "You seem to know your way around the kitchen; do you spend a lot of time here?" I put the stack of dishes on the counter top and turned to her, "Yeah, Kwest and I remolded most of the kitchen together and I'm a regular for dinner on Wednesdays." I turned to the stove and inspected the pots, lifting lids. "Hmm, she's making fajitas tonight, my favorite." Jude took a sip of the juice I sat next to her. "I didn't know that." I turned and leaned against the counter, facing her. "That I like Sadie's cooking?" She shook her head, "No that you're a regular for dinner, Sadie never mentioned that."

My eyes narrowed, "So, you've been talking about me with Sadie." Jude sat her glass down and picked up the stack of dishes, heading out the door to the dining room, calling over her shoulder, "Not really, just in passing." I didn't know how I should feel, happy that she had been talking to Sadie, or nervous about what might have been said. I shrugged and gathered the glasses and followed her into the other room. I looked over at Kwest, thankful that he'd stop demonstrating how much he had missed Sadie. Sometimes, they were a little too much to handle. I'm happy for them, but sometimes I felt a little jealous, wishing I could have someone to come home to, someone to love and know they felt the same way towards me.

I placed the glasses on the table and looked at Jude; she was watching them and smiling at how happy they were. I moved to stand beside her, "I've never seen Kwest as happy as I see him with her." She looked at me, "I'm glad they're together, she loves him so much." We stood in silence for a moment. She turned and touched my arm, "Do you ever wonder if there's someone out there for everyone?" I looked at her, unsure of what to say. I just decided to go with what I felt, "Yeah, of course there is. Sometimes you meet them at the wrong time though, and you have to wait for the right time to come along for your happy ending, but yeah, everyone has two halves to their souls." She stared into my eyes so intently that I almost felt a blush coming on; I should have just kept my mouth shut. "That's how I feel too."

Kwest saved me from embarrassing myself anymore, "Sit down you two while Sadie and I bring out dinner." I sat down in my normal chair; Jude took the chair next to mine. I looked up as Sadie brought in a steaming platter of sautéed onions and bell peppers, I checked to make sure that she hadn't cooked any red bell peppers tonight, Jude hates them. I sighed as I saw that she hadn't. Jude looked at me, "What, you don't think she cooked enough food?" I frowned, "What?" She laughed my confusion, "Quincy, what was the sigh for?" I shook my head, "It's nothing." I didn't want her knowing that I still knew so much about her, well at least, everything I remembered from almost three years ago. I laughed a full bellied laugh; it was kind of funny though, the fact that I still worried over the small things when it came to her. Sadie looked at me as she placed another platter on the table, "That's the first time I've heard you laugh like that in a long time." I wiped the tears from my eyes, yeah, maybe it wasn't that funny, but I think I'm losing my mind from Jude overload.

"Yeah, it's been awhile, I just had a weird thought, that's all." I held up a hand at Jude's questioning look, "No, it's not for sharing." Kwest brought in the last platter and after he seated himself beside Sadie, we started eating. I followed the conversation between Sadie and Jude over wedding plans. I didn't contribute much, just content to take it all in. I hadn't realized that Jude had been uptight earlier, but as I watched her, I could see her unwind, her posture softening, her smile coming more easily as the meal wore on. I looked up as Sadie stood up, "Everybody has room for dessert, right?" We all nodded, so she walked into the kitchen and returned with Kwest's favorite, lemon cake with cream cheese frosting.

Kwest served the cake, and looked and looked at me, "You owe me five bucks man." I laughed, we had bet before leaving the studio on what desert was going to be. Sadie normally tried to keep it even with everyone's favorites. Jude looked at Kwest, "What was the bet?" Kwest gave Sadie a kiss on the cheek, "If it would be chocolate cake tonight. I admit, I had the upper hand, I already knew what was for dinner, Tommy didn't." I threw my napkin at him, "Hey, that's unfair! You cheated so I don't think I should have to pay up." Sadie grabbed my napkin and threw it back to me, "Yeah, what about the time when you bet me Kwest wouldn't drink sprite? You swore the day before that he hated the stuff!" I laughed and looked at Kwest as he glared at me, "I drank that vile stuff because of you?" He pretended he was strangling me, all the while laughing. Sadie kissed him, "I loved that you drank it because I asked. I love you." I looked up as Jude stood up, "Sorry guys, it's been a long day and I should get some rest." We all stood up as Jude went into the other room to grab her purse and jacket. I watched Jude hug them and noticed she seemed tense again. I put it to the back of my mind for later. I opened the door for her and smiled at her as she moved past me, "Bye Harrison, see you around." She gave me a small nod before leaving.

I closed the door and went into the dining room to help with the clean up. I noticed Sadie looking thoughtful as she was collecting empty dishes. "Penny for your thoughts." She handed me the stack of dishes to take into the kitchen, "Jude's hiding something and I don't know what it is. At times she seems so relaxed, but then she tenses up for no apparent reason." I nodded; I was glad that I wasn't the only one to notice. I walked into the kitchen and had to stifle my laugh; Kwest was wearing an apron while washing the dishes. He turned at my choked laughter, "Sadie and I have plans later and I didn't want to get messy, so shove it." I dumped the dishes in the sink and saluted, "Have fun, I'll see you guys later." I turned around and kissed Sadie on the cheek as she walked in, "Thanks for dinner Sadie, it was great as usual." She smiled, "We always love having you here, don't become a stranger just because Jude is back." I nodded and left, even though tomorrow was Saturday, I still had to be in the studio early. I talked Georgia into not calling Kwest in, he and Sadie needed some time together to organize the wedding. I realized as I slid into my car that Jude never showed me her new material tonight. Maybe I'd have an excuse to call her later in the week.


	2. Unhappy Saturday

A/N: I don't own Instant Star, sorry folks. Also, I know I got the divorce lawyers name wrong, so now it's Steve; I don't have time to look it up in Season two. Thanks to Bellasmomma for giving me the push I needed. But unfortunately, I don't know when the next chapter is going to be, I have to figure it out before I can write it. But, I will post it as soon as I do. Enjoy reading and let me know if I need to correct anything. P.S. sorry it's short; I've got exams again next week.

I poured myself another cup of coffee, kicking myself for being so soft. Yeah, just give Kwest the day off to be with Sadie and leave all the work to me. My big mouth got me into a lot of trouble. Georgia didn't like the sound of Third Eye's last track so now, on top of everything else, I'm stripping it down to the basics and building it back up again, all without Kwest. I dumped sugar into my coffee and growled in frustration, today has not been good in any way, shape or form. "So, are you growling at the sugar you just dumped all over the table, or are you actually turning into an animal, Quincy?" I took a sip of my oversweet coffee and turned around to see Jude in killer red high heels, a soft skirt and blouse. She looked good enough to… I took another sip of my coffee, reigning in my thoughts. "Not an animal yet, I just want to throw a track out the window. I can't get it right and Kwest and I worked on it for hours yesterday and it's still not good enough!"

I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. She smiled at me and reached around me for a coffee mug, "Clean up the mess you made while I get some coffee and I'll lend you a hand in the booth, we always did make a good team." I stepped back and looked at her, she just smiled easily at me, "Unless you don't want my help, then I'll just go home for the day. After all, I was only here for my meeting with Georgia, and that's over with." I quickly shook my head, "No, I need your help, thanks for the offer. I just didn't know you were coming in today, that's all." I put my coffee mug down and stated cleaning up the spilled sugar, "So, have you and Georgia come to an agreement or is it still on the table?" Jude took a sip of her coffee and smiled, "Perfect. No, I'm still thinking about her offer, I just want to get a feel for how things changed before I jump in and sign the papers." I dumped the dirty napkin full of sugar into the trash bin and grabbed my coffee, "C'mon, we're in studio one today."

I opened the door for her and watched her take a seat, smoothing her skirt before sitting down. I walked over and took the chair next to hers. "I'll play you the track stripped down, and then what I have so far." She nodded and I flipped the switch to play it over the speakers. I watched her close her eyes and lean her head back, listening to the lyrics. I looked at her, trying to match up the Jude I saw now with the one I remembered from years ago. I missed the red hair, but she looked even more beautiful with her blonde locks. I glanced away as her eyes opened, "Stop staring at my Tommy, I can feel your gaze." I grabbed my coffee and gulped it down, oops. After the second song ended I turned to her, "What do you think? Kwest and I thought we had it, but the boss said differently." Jude leaned forward and smiled, "It's great! I love the song, but you're drowning it out with the bass and all the overlays. If you only add on half of what you have, you'll have a number one hit." I looked at her, thinking. Yeah, it was kind of busy, but that's what they were going for. I decided to give it a try; the worst would be that I wasted a few hours and that I'd be back at the drawing board. "Okay, you're on." She smiled and pulled her chair up to the sound board, business like. "Okay the first thing we're going to do is…"

ISISISISISISISISISISIS

I leaned against the door and watched as Jude showed Georgia what we came up with. It only took a few hours, but it sounded great. Jude was right on target when she said it had too many layers. Georgia looked at Jude and smiled, "This is fantastic, maybe we should hire you on as a producer as well as an artist!" Jude laughed, "The only thing I'm producing is my next album, sorry Georgia." Georgia shook her head, smiling. "Well, whenever I can convince you to come back to G Major, you can produce your own album. You too did a great job and I think Tommy deserves the rest of the day off, seeing how it is Saturday and all." I smiled at Georgia, "Thanks, I'll see you early on Monday for that meeting." She nodded and I stepped out into the reception area, waiting for Jude to follow. "So, now that I've been freed from my chains, do you want to get something to eat?" She smiled at me, "How about we pick something up and head to the lake?" I took her arm and led her outside, "What ever you want."

ISISISISISISISISISISISIS

I parked the Viper and got out to open her car door, continuing our conversation, "So, what did Steve think about that?" Jude laughed, "He wanted to punch that reporter and stomp on his camera! I swear, he's like a second father to me, we've gotten so close over time." I nodded at the nearby bench, and grabbed the lunch bag from the back seat. "It must be hard leaving London then, leaving them behind?" Jude sat down and I handed her a chicken sandwich before sitting next to her. She opened it and took a bite, "Mmh, I missed this, London is great and all, but they don't have everything!" I smiled at her greedy smile and handed her my sandwich as well. "I eat the fries, you keep the sandwich." She took another bite and swallowed, "It's not that hard leaving them behind in London, they need some time for themselves, I mean, the first few years of their relationship wasn't the easiest with me there. I just thought it would be best for me to move back here. I've missed Sadie and my dad."

I looked at her, waiting for her to continue, knowing something was bothering her. I didn't want to push or else she'd clam up. She looked down at her half eaten sandwich before setting it to the side. "I just thought things would be different, but I walked into the same situation. Kwest and Sadie are tying the knot and I'm like a third wheel." I opened my mouth to object but she rushed on, "Oh, I know that she doesn't mean to make me feel like that, but I still do. They have their house, with room for a baby and I know Sadie wants kids. I just don't feel like I should intrude too much especially seeing how busy they both are and how little time they have with each other. I know it'll be worse after the wedding and I guess I'm just feeling depressed about it. Sadie's grown up and she'd not just my sister anymore, she'll be a wife and future mother." I took her hand in mine and looked at her, "I know how you feel Jude. Kwest is no longer the same, he has Sadie now. It's hard to take a step back and try to not rush in and let them know how left out you feel. I've felt like that for awhile now, but I've realized that there's nothing you can do besides hang in there and be there when they're ready. They are no longer Kwest and Sadie, there, one person, almost. Just don't let Sadie know I said that, she'd hit me with a rolling pin. Kwest always calls Sadie before agreeing to plans with me and I know Sadie usually does the same, that's just the way it is now."

I looked down at our joined hands and released hers with regret. She sighed and picked up her sandwich again, "Thanks, I needed that." She finished her sandwich and I picked up the trash and threw it out. "So Harrison, what's your plan for the rest of the day?" She smiled and brushed crumbs off her skirt, "I'm apartment hunting, you wanna come?" I smiled at her, "As long as you don't force me to look at any pink bathrooms. The last time I went real estate shopping, the psycho lady showed me a pink bathroom from the ceiling down to the marble floor." I shuddered in distaste. She laughed and stood up, "Okay, no pink bathrooms, but you're my ride, I took a taxi to the studio." I opened the car door for her, "Well then my lady, just tell me where to drive to."

ISISISISISISISISISISISIS

After a long afternoon of apartment hunting, I dropped Jude off at her hotel for the night before heading home. I turned on the light and flipped through the post, walking over to the stereo. Of course, there was nothing good in the mail. I flipped through my cd collection and pulled out Jude's latest album before slipping it into the disc drive. I shed my jacket and grabbed a bottle of water from the kitchen before sitting on the couch to relax. I let Jude's voice pour over me and I smiled over memories from today, how her eyes lit up when she smiled at me, how easily her laugh warmed me, how her touch on my arm felt like electric sparks. Yup, it was a fantastic afternoon, a hell of a lot better than the mess from this morning.


	3. Meetings, Work, and Jude

A/N: I don't own Instant Star or the song 'Heavy on My Heart' by Anastacia. I'm not making any money off of just, just having some fun before putting the characters back a little worse for wear.

I laid my head down on the conference table, ignoring everyone as they left the room. I didn't get enough sleep last night and to top it off, I just finished another pointless, unproductive meeting. Lately, it seems like I've been running around in circles. Trying to convince one of our newer artists, Lily Moore, that there was a reason we did things a certain way for a very good reason was like hitting your head on a brick wall. I'm just glad that I was able to pass her off onto Jason; I don't think I could have lasted very long as her producer. I can see it now, Lily bursting into tears every time I corrected her mistakes. "Tommy, you gonna sleep there all day, or are we getting down to work?" I lifted my head and glared at Kwest as he leaned against the door frame. "I don't remember us having anything slated for a few more hours. Third Eye's latest track is fixed and approved by Georgia already. Now go away so I can catch a few z's."

Kwest shook his head and smiled, "Sorry, we have a new artist starting today and I hear that she's very finicky about her producer's being on time to work. Oh yeah, she's co-producing this album by the way." I frowned as he turned and walked away, it couldn't be Jude, could it? I thought she wanted some time to think about it. I grabbed my coffee mug and headed to studio one, hoping that it was Jude.

I smiled as I saw Jude talking with Kwest in the sound booth. I opened the door and nodded at Jude as she looked up at me. She looked back at Kwest, "You ready to get this show on the road?" Kwest grinned, "Yeah, let me just grab the mic you want and then it's all yours." I sat down in an empty chair and looked over at Jude, "So, you broke down. What made you do it?" Jude frowned and reached down to pick up her guitar, "I thought about it yesterday, there's nothing for me to do besides help Sadie with her wedding; although, Sadie pretty much has that planned out pretty well. Sometimes I think she'd be able to run the country blindfolded with no problem." She stopped and looked down at her lap for a moment, before looking up, "Sometimes I just wish that I…" She broke off as Kwest came back in, "Okay, it's all set up for you." She nodded and walked into the recording booth with her guitar.

I turned to Kwest as he took her empty chair, "What were you two talking about earlier?" Kwest flipped a few switches on the sound board, getting set up while Jude checked that her guitar was tuned properly. "She was explaining the feel she wanted for her new album. She has a pretty defined view of it and I can't wait to hear all her new songs." He turned the intercom on "Anytime you're ready Jude." She nodded and scooted closer to the mic before settling in with her guitar. She nodded at us and started strumming the opening chords.

I try to fly away but it's impossible  
And every breath I take gives birth to deeper sighs  
And for a moment I am weak  
So it's hard for me to speak  
Even though we're underneath the same blue sky

If I could paint a picture of this melody  
It would be a violin without its strings  
And the canvas in my mind  
Sings the songs I left behind  
Like pretty flowers and a sunset

It's heavy on my heart  
I can't make it alone  
Heavy on my heart  
I can't find my way home  
Heavy on my heart  
So come and free me  
It's so heavy on my heart

I've had my share of pleasure  
And I've tasted pain  
I never thought that I would touch an angel's wings  
There's a journey in my eyes  
It's getting hard for me to hide  
Like the ocean at the sunrise

It's heavy on my heart  
I can't make it alone  
Heavy on my heart  
I can't find my way home  
Heavy on my heart  
So come and free me  
It's so heavy on my heart

Love, can you find me in the darkness, and love,  
Don't let me down  
There's a journey in my eyes  
It's getting hard for me to hide  
And I never thought I'd touch an angel's wings

I let out the breath that I had held in at some point. I looked at Kwest and saw that he was having the same problem I was, Jude had just reached out and grabbed our heart strings. I watched Jude as she waited for our response. I flipped the intercom, "That's great, let's take just the lyrics though, okay?" She nodded and set her guitar down before repositioning the mic for her standing height. She gave thumbs up and closed her eyes, releasing the lyrics from her heart. My breath hitched as I watched the play of emotions on her face. I wanted to reach out to her and wrap my arms around her, protecting her from all the pain she was feeling. I watched spell bound until she opened her eyes afterwards, a single tear making its way down her cheek.

Kwest nudged me as she turned around to pick up her guitar, "Go get some coffee, I'll send her out there while I work on this." I nodded, knowing I would be useless for a few minutes, my thoughts twisting and turning around in my head. I grabbed my coffee mug and headed out to the lobby without looking back at Jude.

I grabbed the coffee pot only to realize that it was empty. I took it into the kitchen to rinse it out and fill it with water. I set it on the counter and started looking for the filters; someone had left the empty box in the cabinet again. I dropped down to check the lower cabinet, sticking my head in it. What a mess, I was more organized than this at my place and I'm a bachelor. "Well, if this is the standard view on break, I just might have to call them often then." I hit my head on the cabinet as I heard Jude's teasing voice behind me. I finally saw the coffee filters and grabbed them, holding them up triumphantly. "Sorry, the view is only for when some idiot decides to hide the coffee filters in the bottom cabinet buried beneath everything else. Wish I could help you out, but then Georgia might fire me for lack of productivity." I grinned at her, happy to see that her mood was considerably lighter.

I grabbed the filled coffee pot and walked back to the lobby area. "Thank goodness. I thought for a moment that I would have to kill someone before I got any more coffee today!" I shook my head, "What, that Venti extra espresso wasn't enough for you this morning? You can't fool me Harrison, I know your secrets." She smiled, although it didn't quite reach her eyes, "You may know some Quincy, but not all of them." I looked at her after starting the coffee maker, "Any time you feel like sharing, I'll lend an ear Jude." She sighed and turned away, pouring cream and sugar into her mug, "I'm just not ready right now Tommy. Maybe someday, but not now." I sighed and poured the fresh coffee into her mug, "So much for the Quincy charm, I must be getting rusty." It had the desired effect; she laughed and playfully swatted me in the arm. "Give me my coffee so I can get back to work." I looked down at her out stretched hand and back up at her grinning eyes, "That's all I am now, just a cute guy to ogle and make coffee for the pretty stars." I handed her the coffee and ducked before she could swat me again. "No, you don't have any time left, breaks over missy!"

I shooed her to the studio before pouring my own mug of coffee. I frowned over what was said and what wasn't. I'll find out sooner or later what's going on with her. She can't keep me in the dark too long, she never could. For now, though, I'll settle for making her smile. The sight of that lone tear on her face really threw me for a loop. I let my mind wander back to a certain night outside in the rain for a moment. Yeah, her tears always had the power to make me fall to my knees around her. Some things never change.


	4. Where Is Jude?

I don't own Instant Star or 'Soulmate' by Natasha Bedingfield.

I pulled up into the driveway and had to stifle my disappointment at not seeing Jude's red mini Cooper there. This was the second Wednesday that she'd skipped out on the family dinner. I wondered if I put a bug in Sadie's ear if she could talk Jude into showing up next week. I had really been hoping to see her here after not seeing her all week in the studio. I jumped out of the car and picked up the bouquet of flowers I had brought for Sadie.

Not even bothering to ring the door bell, I knocked and opened the door calling out, "Angel of my life, where are you?" Kwest came around the corner from the kitchen, a stack of dishes in his hands. "If you mean Jude, she's not here. If you mean my fiancé, well, I don't have to tell you to back off." He looked pointedly at the flowers in my hand. "Yo, Kwest man, keep it cook, okay? I didn't think you were Mr. Jealous. No, these are a thank you for Sadie saving my ass earlier with Georgia. I seriously almost blew the meeting until Sadie tracked me down and reminded me." That was a close call too; I grimaced at the thought of what Georgia would have done to my lifeless body if I had missed that meeting. I set the flowers down on the table and grabbed the stack of dishes from Kwest's hands. "So, where is Jude? She hasn't been in the studio all week, not even poking her head in to see Sadie."

I looked sideways at Kwest as I set the table. I knew he was hiding something from me, but I didn't know what it was. "She's around, just keeping her distance from everyone for awhile. The move tired her out more than she thought it would. So, I'll go tell Sadie that you brought her flowers trying to worm your way into her good graces, she's still upset over having to track you down earlier, by the way." I shook my head as he walked back into the kitchen. Yeah, my head hadn't been focused on work lately and it showed. I think Georgia's close to forcing me on a vacation soon if I don't shape up. Actually, a vacation sounded good right now. I can't remember that last time I took one.

I looked up as Sadie came through the door carrying in a platter of steaming lasagna, followed by Kwest with the garlic bread and salad. "Tommy, you do realize that it'll take more than flowers to repay me for the time and effort it took me to track you down." Kwest snorted as he set the food on the table and pulled out the chair for Sadie, "Give it up love, you knew exactly where he was and were just giving him time to think." Sadie grinned and shrugged, "Yeah, well I still had to get his lazy bum off the roof when he decided to turn off his cell phone." I couldn't help but laugh, "Sadie, I love you, I'll bring you a pumpkin latte and muffin tomorrow for breakfast, how does that sound?" She sniffed as she started serving up dinner, "That's a good start Quincy."

* * *

After cleaning up the dinner dishes, I cornered Sadie in the kitchen. "Where's Jude? Kwest won't say and I've never known Jude to stay away from the studio for this long." Sadie turned away from him and started making coffee, "I can't say Tommy. She's around, but she's not seeing anyone." Before I could question her further she turned and glared at me, "She is fine Tommy. There is a reason behind this but it's not mine to share. She'll come around the studio when she's ready. Just leave it alone, okay?" I nodded, outwardly calm, but inside, my gut was churning with emotion. Something was wrong and nothing was adding up. Why would Jude feel the need to hide away from everyone when she'd been home for just over a month? I looked at Sadie's stern expression and knew that I wouldn't be getting anymore information from her. "Sadie, I'm going to head home, I'll see you both tomorrow at work, okay?" She nodded and I gave her a hug before leaving. I waved at Kwest on my way out.

Starting my car, I decided to drive for awhile to clear my head and think on what could cause Jude to hide out like this. She had always been so strong, so determined not to let anything get her down. She stood up for herself when she knew she was in the right and eventually apologized when she was in the wrong. She never went out of her way to be hurtful or spiteful; instead, she went out of her way to make others comfortable, sometimes even putting their needs in front of her own. After an hour of driving around, I still hadn't figured out any good reasons for her disappearance.

* * *

I was fumbling with my bag, coffee cup and newspaper trying to open the door when a slender arm reached past me and pulled it open for me. "Wow Quincy! Were you up all night at a party or is this just your usual morning routine?" I spun around and glared at Jude, "Of course, it's always party after party, night after night. You know me Jude." She laughed and breezed by me into the studio. "Better watch out Quincy or I might become concerned over you, you are one of my producers after all."

I stared after her, letting the door close behind her. I was so furious I was shaking, or maybe it had to do with the relief that was coursing through my body. She's back, in one piece, and she's smiling. I shook my head, my thoughts turning dark, and my anger growing. She just thinks she can waltz in after being gone for a week with no word and everything will be peachy keen? I think not. I shifted everything to one hand and yanked open the door, storming after her, hell bent on giving her a piece of my mind.

I found her setting up in the studio and I made sure to close the door behind me before I ripped into her. I turned around and swallowed my words as I saw her holding a hand up to ward me off, a look of such sadness on her face that made me want to wrap her up and never let her go. "Don't start Tommy. I know it was wrong to just leave like that, without a word to anyone, but it was necessary. Before you even think about yelling at me, just remind yourself of all the times you pulled a stunt like that on me. Payback's a bitch isn't it? Not that I intended for this to happen or anything. I just don't want to talk about it, I can't talk about. It happened and now I'm back, so let's get down to work, okay?"

I nodded, trying to unglue my tongue from the roof of my mouth. Something was going on, something big that no one wanted me to know. I knew Sadie and Kwest was in on it, maybe even Georgia, but they didn't want me to know. I sighed and started warming up the equipment, watching as Jude tuned her guitar in the recording booth. I nodded at Kwest as he came in and took a seat next to me. "Hey, bad weekend? You look like crap." I shook my head, "Thanks man, tell me what you really think. Yeah, it was a bad weekend, more like a bad week. The lack of sleep is killing me and to add to that, I'm stumped. I can't even write a single verse, I'm so stumped. It's driving me insane!"

Kwest looked over at me, "If I could help you, I would, but it's not my secret to tell. Talk to her; let her know you're there for her, even if she won't tell you what's going on. I know you man, you only get like this when it has to do with her. It'll work out, and when you get your footing back, you'll be writing material like crazy." I gave him a small smile before clicking the intercom on, "Are you ready Jude?" She smiled and pulled the mic closer, "Yeah, just the acoustic with lyrics first. I might add in piano later." I released the button and gave her a thumbs up when I hit the record button.

_Incompatible, it don't matter though 'cos someone's bound to hear my cry  
Speak out if you do; You're not easy to find_

Is it possible Mr. Loveable Is already in my life?  
Right in front of me or maybe you're in disguise?

Who doesn't long for someone to hold, who knows how to love you without being told?  
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end How do I find the perfect fit  
There's enough for everyone But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold Who knows how to love you without being told  
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own If there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold Who knows how to love you without being told  
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own If there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold Who knows how to love you without being told  
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own If there's a soulmate for everyone  
If there's a soulmate for everyone

I couldn't help but rub the spot over my heart, her words hitting me harder than ever. I wish I could just let everything out in the open, but I knew she wasn't ready for that. She obviously had something big going on in her life right now and I wasn't about to screw up what we had now over my feelings for her. I'd wait for her however long it'll take for her to realize that I love her.


	5. Jude's Secret

Sorry it's so short and that it's been awhile since the last update. As always, I don't own IS.

It had been a week since Jude's return and we had finally gotten a moment to talk. I persuaded her into heading over to the local coffee shop for a scenery change, the studio walls can close in on you when you're there as often as I am. I watched her as she fiddled with her coffee mug, not even bothering to drink it. She had dark circles under her eyes and her body was showing the signs of strain and pressure. I reached out my hand and placed it over hers, stilling her endless nervous movements.

"Jude, if you don't want to talk about, then I'll respect that. I'm not saying that I will understand, but I won't push you on this. It's obvious enough that you're not taking care of yourself, I'm concerned for you and I just want you to know that I'm here for you, no matter what." She looked up at me, tears pooling in her eyes. "Thanks Tommy, I really appreciate it. I don't know if I can tell you everything, it's just…" Before she could finish, a teenage boy came over, "Can I have an autograph please?" Jude smiled and accepted the folded sheet of paper he held out to her. Before she could sign it, he took off running out of the shop.

Jude looked out the window, confusion on her face, and then concern. She looked down at the paper in her hand and unfolded it, reading whatever was written inside. I stood up so fast, I knocked my chair over, Jude had gone sheet white and was stumbling up out of her chair, "I have to go Tommy, I'm sorry, this wasn't a good idea." I wrapped my arm around her waist and helped her to the car, stilling the protests on her lips, "Stop it Jude, the faster I can get you to the car, the safer you'll be." She nodded and let me help her, half carry her because her legs were shaking so bad.

I made sure to buckle her in and headed back to the studio, glancing all the while at Jude, the tears running down her pale face was like a clenched fist around my heart. I felt a rage starting to build; I wanted blood from whoever it was that hurt her like this. I checked my temper; it wouldn't do her any good right now. I parked in the first spot I saw and jumped out to help Jude into the studio. I called out to Sadie as soon as we were through the doors and I made sure the lobby was empty. It wouldn't do to draw even more attention right now.

"Sadie, we need your help right now. I'm taking her into the conference room; can you make something for her to drink?" She nodded and rushed off to the kitchen. I pushed open the door to the conference room, dimmed the lights and settled Jude into a chair. She was still shaking so I took off my jacket and wrapped it around her before taking her hands in mine and rubbing them to warm them up. "Jude honey, talk to me please. Tell me what's going on so I can help you through this, you don't have to carry this alone love."

She looked up at me, staring into my eyes for a moment before handing me the crumpled sheet of paper that was still clutched in her hand. I unfolded it and read what was inside, my anger had returned full force and I took a deep breath to calm down.

_I told you to stay away from him Jude. You don't want him to have an accident now, do you? I think a nice drive off a cliff in his precious Viper would do nicely. Stay away from him and he'll be fine. Don't test my patience again!_

I looked up at her and reached up to wipe the tears off her face. Sadie came in with a tray of coffee mugs followed by Kwest and Georgia. "How's she doing Tommy? Jude honey, I brought you some coffee." She knelt down beside me and pressed a coffee mug into her hands. I motioned to the note that now lay on the floor "She received a threat; the police need to be called in for this." Sadie nodded at me, "We'll get on it right away." She looked over at Kwest who was already pulling his cell out.

I moved to stand up and Jude grabbed my hand, "Please don't go Tommy, at least not right now." I nodded and stood up, picked her up off the chair and settled down into it with her on my lap. "I'm here for you love; I'm not leaving you even if you tell me to. You're stuck with me forever." I sighed as she snuggled deeper into me. I caught a snippet of Kwest's conversation with the police and narrowed my gaze at Sadie. "How long has this been going on that you have the direct line to the chief of police?"

Sadie looked at Jude, waiting for her permission before answering my question. "It started the last few months Jude was in England. An ex-boyfriend turned stalker. We thought that with her moving back home it would end, but he followed her here. I few weeks after her return, she received another note along with a bouquet of dead roses. That's why she was gone for those two weeks. She was keeping a low profile at the ranch with a security team. This guy is getting worse though, he's never threatened anyone before now."

Jude took a sip of her coffee, her hands shaking slightly, and cleared her throat, "His name is Paul. We used to be close friends and I told him a lot about my past, including Tommy. I never thought that he wasn't all there in the head. He always seemed like the perfect gentleman." I hugged her tighter and placed a kiss on the top of her head, "I'm here with you now, and I'm not going anywhere." I looked over at Georgia, "Consider me on vacation until this is resolved." Georgia nodded, "I wish I could have told you earlier, we didn't think he would follow her all the way from England."

I nodded at her, getting angry and yelling over not being told earlier wouldn't do anyone any good. I eased a hand out of Jude's death grip and started rubbing circles on her back, "If a security detail was with her earlier, why didn't someone remain with her? Why has she been running around today on her own?" Jude raised her head at looked at me, tears in her eyes. My gut clenched and I wanted to wrap my hands around this guy's neck for everything he's putting her through. "I didn't want a bodyguard Tommy. I thought that if I had one or someone obviously protecting me in public that it would make it worse." She took a shaky breath and continued, "This isn't exactly worse, he's still just keeping it to threats, but it's worse in that he's targeting you now. I don't think I could handle anyone I love getting hurt because of him."

I wanted to shout out for joy and hold her tight at the same time for her implying that she loved me, but then her next words shot my joy to hell, "That's why I don't think it's a good idea for you to stay with me."


End file.
